Wednesday, April 25, 2012

Tuesday, April 17, 2012 8:59 AM
Zach, your post made me smile, yet reminded me how hard things get for the primary caregivers. 

Its like you are Amanda's knight in shining armor, standing ever vigilant for all that would approach your beautiful lady. Your eyes note every movement in the room, every monitor, every step she takes, every flicker of her eyelashes. You are probably primed to stand, move, sit in ways that serve her greater good. You hold her banner for good health. 

The Warriors of old were not people who took the weight of the world on their shoulders, they simply learned to deal with the challenges of the moment. 

May you both be blessed with the love you share for each other!

with my love & prayers for good health,
Auntie
Bellezza Squillace
Tuesday, April 17, 2012 8:45 AM
Well, we shall try again to visit tonight.  You sounded pretty groggy and sleepy last night when I called so I hope the little bits of sleep you are getting between nurse visits are doing the job!  We will all try to forgive Zach one day for admitting online that you were snoring... somehow... maybe by telling the world when he is caught snoring, eh? :)
Love you honey!! XOXOXOXO
Diana Wilde
Tuesday, April 17, 2012 8:20 AM
Glad to see your updates.  I know it seems like a big hill to climb but know that you can do it.  Just remember to take care of yourself, and get lots of rest.   I will continue to pray for you and your family.   Megan says Hi, and says get better quick.
Let us know if there is anything we can do for the family.
Love,
The Panser family


Becky Panser
Tuesday, April 17, 2012 6:49 AM
Good Morning Amanda,
Hoping that today is a better day for you!
We love you and think of you every day. My prayers for you continue.
Great big hugs!
Micki
Micki Gordon
Monday, April 16, 2012 1:23 PM
Amanda,
I was very upset to hear that you got sick at Easter and have to continue to fight Luekemia.  I want you to know that your strength, family, and faith shall get you through this.  Believe me when I say if you fight you will win!!!  If you ever need a shoulder to cry on, need to talk, or just want someone to be in the room call me.  I will be praying for you and a quick recovery.  I know that Megan will help Grace in any way she can, she knows what it is like to have a Mommy that is not feeling well. 
Keep your chin up and call us if you need anything.
Love, Becky Panser
BECKY PANSER
Monday, April 16, 2012 1:07 PM
Hi Amanda,
It's so frightening how life can change in the blink of an eye.  I'm so sorry to hear how your life has temporarily changed.  I know you can beat this, you are so strong, young and beautiful!  I'm sending all of my positive thoughts and energy your way! 
Take care,
Kim Smythe
Monday, April 16, 2012 12:32 PM
Hey Manda!

Hear from your parents that you have web connections which makes for a big expansion of your bedside world.

I am thinking of you and watching the snow melt on the mountains all around the valley, which simply remind me that things change when the sun comes up each day.

May your day be filled with warmth, sunny smiles, all manner of good things, and of course, lots of love,
Auntie
Bellezza Squillace
Monday, April 16, 2012 11:09 AM
Good Afternoon, Amanda!
I like your new look on the page, very pretty.  So pretty that I had to make the font match! 
I am bowled over by your attitude and humor through this, you are amazing
Praying for you every day, love you! 
Aunt Micki
Micki Gordon
Monday, April 16, 2012 10:27 AM
Good morning, lovely lady!  I'm coming to see you tonight and bringing you some of what I made for Zach & the girls for dinner.  Hope you'll have an appetite for very mild Italian hotdish ;) lol
Try to be good and do as the nice doctors say.  I know there's no fun in that but they do like to be humored. :)
Love you,
Diana
Diana Wilde
Sunday, April 15, 2012 11:41 PM
Amanda,

I am sorry to hear that your life was so rudely interrupted at Easter.  You and your family have been in my thoughts often over the last several days.  Please let me know if there is anything I can do to help.  We would love to have Bella and the girls over this Friday.

You have an amazing spirit!  Sending positive thoughts your way.

Amy Karls
Sunday, April 15, 2012 3:55 PM
Thank you for the update! I love to hear about your optimism and spirit to fight this. Amanda, you have always seemed full of energy and spunk and I can see you beat the crap out of this and come out swinging:)
Molly Schuster
Sunday, April 15, 2012 3:36 PM
Wish I lived closer to you guys so I could help you out. Stay strong and we are thinking of you often. love you.
Barbara Bormann
Sunday, April 15, 2012 1:30 PM
Thinking of you, can't wait to come visit again when I'm back home. I have an extra webcam if you need a new one for home. Was going to drop it off yesterday but got a bad migraine that jacked up my day plans. Love you, hope you are still in great spirits and feeling good like the other night. Big hugs!!!
Maria Thomas
Sunday, April 15, 2012 12:11 PM
Dear Amanda,
Spending the day with Tiffany and Emma and hoping that you are resting and that you will be getting better and better.  Thank you for this site and letting us all know how you are and Thank you Zach for your entries too.  Give the girls and Deb a big hug for me and I will see you soon.  I have the sniffles today so I am going to wait to come up to see you until I am sure it is just allergies and not a cold.  Love you beautiful girl and Emma is making a beautiful princess picture for you.  
Susan Anderson
Sunday, April 15, 2012 10:56 AM
Just read the new entries, one from Zach and one from Amanda. I love you both, continue to be strong and hold on to that faith no matter what!

Amanda, I knew you were a country girl :)
Praying that all this treatment brings in the remission ... It will!
Hugs to all,
Micji
Micki Gordon
Sunday, April 15, 2012 10:41 AM
Dear Amanda & Zach:

I was reading an article this morning about the 5 Languages of Love which is a simple breakout of how differently we all express our love to each other. I'd like to share that with you this morning because as everyone checks in here on this guestbook or even offers love to you in & outside the hospital, I do see how you are receiving love in those different ways. Each language is important and equal to the others.

Quality time: For someone who speaks this language, things like eye contact, deep and meaningful conversations and shared activities are needed to feel loved. Bonding time with others in their life is what is most important to them. 

Receiving gifts: When you are in a relationship or friendship with someone who loves little gifts and surprises, this is precisely what you will get. You will constantly be showered with new clothes, flowers or even chocolates. Giving the gift of self is also an important symbol of love to these people. 

Words of affection: This works by giving the other constant compliments, sweet love notes, or cards showing affection and caring, with lots of encouragement. This is important because those who speak this language are sensitive people and don't take criticism as well as others. 

Physical touch: If this is the language of choice, this person will be very affectionate or, as some like to call it, touchy-feely. Hugging is important to them.

Acts of service: Some people find pleasure in doing things for others. This may mean that they will also feel loved when their partners (either in the home, the office, for special tasks or projects) help out with chores or doing things for them. 

Like the Beatles sing: All you need is love, love, love

and of course, healing!
Be happy in small ways today dear Niece & Nephew-in-law. Sending you my love!

Auntie
Bellezza Squillace
  • Sunday, April 15, 2012 10:20 AM
    Thinking about you everyday!!! You have the most amazing attitude and optimism towards everything so I know you can do this!! And if you need to cry, it's okay!! I can bring you some cookies like you and Becky used to give me when you made me cry :) or perhaps a happy meal (with the good toy).

    Love you tons and I would love to come visit you soon!!

    Steph
    Stephanie Mundahl
    Sent from CaringBridge iPhone app
Sunday, April 15, 2012 10:07 AM
Amanda,
I know you're so busy on the weekends.  Tony and I will visit you during the week.  I'll come down tomorrow (Monday)  You tell me if you want me to bring you something special for lunch.  You guys (all of you) call on me anytime, day or night if you need something.  A ride, or an errand or anything that will make life easier.  I know you have your main support system surrounding you, I am backup for them when they need rest or extra help.  You're a precious part of so many lives, we want everything to be as good as it can be for you.
Linda Soukup
Sunday, April 15, 2012 12:28 AM
It was delightful to read about the company you had last night & today, and even your humor at being a marshmallow made me smile. How proud I feel to see you tackle what life has thrown at you with courage & quite a bit of attitude!  I thought about you all through the day and now as night brings this day to a close, it ends with a prayer that you keep dancin' up that cowgrrrrl storm.

love always,
Auntie
Bellezza Squillace
Saturday, April 14, 2012 11:32 PM
Amanda,
We are thinking about you daily. Phil and Diana have been keeping us updated. You are in our thoughts and Prayers every day. You are amazing and we all send our Love your way. Aunt Karen Uncle Terry and Eric.
Karen Miller
Saturday, April 14, 2012 8:10 PM
Hello Dear Amanda,
This may sound goofy... but its worth a try.. If you google youtube meditations a list of them comes up and you can pick different ones to try they can be really helpful!!
Love you lots!!
xoxo


Sheri Squillace
Saturday, April 14, 2012 5:22 PM
Dearest Amanda,
As my sister's best friend from I don't even know the youngest age, you are like family.  You have been constantly on my mind and in my prayers. You are a very strong young women, with an adorable family. Keep up your positive thoughts and take things day by day, hour by hour.  I can see from reading other postings on here what a great support system you have. Lean on people and don't take this all on by yourself.
Keep faith, Keep smiling
Love Sarah(barrett) and family
sarah barrett(willenbring)
Saturday, April 14, 2012 3:16 PM
Just thinking about ya! Love you tons ;) -Becky
Becky M
Saturday, April 14, 2012 8:47 AM
Go figure. Here I am in Southern California & I woke up to snow again this morning! Its' lovely, don't misunderstand. Sometimes there is nothing better than that white fluff covering up everything, but my gardens had just started to bloom!  Life can be so unexpected from one day to the next. Needless to say this will be a soup day. I got a new cookbook last week called THE VEGAN SLOW COOKER, with many great ideas. And yes, I decided...once again...to go vegetarian. This cookbook is a perfect re-entry to that way of eating. I'll check in later and let you know what I made and how it tasted. Let it snow! The fireplace is lit and soup is cooking!

Love you, my sweet niece!
Bellezza Squillace
Saturday, April 14, 2012 12:09 AM
Love you Amanda! It was so good to talk to you today! You are honestly one of the best people on this planet! Completely beautiful inside and out!! Our prayers are with you, Zac and those adorable girls I will be taking out to the park and ice cream in the very near future! You rest and work on getting better because you have no other option! Stay strong and push that button an extra time for me! Your a fighter and so strong you'll get this kicked in no time! If you need any thing at all give me a call! LOVE LOVE LOVE YOU and see you very soon! I also have a drink and a dance with your name on it!!

Love,
Tiffy, Trevor and Emma
tiffany frankus
Saturday, April 14, 2012 12:01 AM
Dear Amanda,  You are such a crazy sexy wonderful person that I know that you will knock this bitch to her knees!!!  I Love You and you and your dear sweet Mom and girls and Zach and your Dad are all in my heart and thoughts!!  When you get home I will bring dinner over any time you want and help with the 3 girls - as Emma calls them.  Love you so much! 

Susan Anderson
Susan Anderson
Friday, April 13, 2012 4:01 PM
Dearest Wonder Woman,
I am absolutely blown away reading all these fantastic entries in your Guestbook!!!  Who in the world has so much love and so many dear friends in their life?!  Only you babe.  It's awe-inspiring.
So, two or three times at family dinners and parties I have tried to find five minutes to tell you this, and I'm going to try again.  What I've always tried to tell you is why you amaze and delight me, and what it is about you... and we always get interrupted right around the time I get to "You show me that it can be done" and then you say, "Oh I'm not perfect!" and then we get involved with something else, usually something involving small girls or Berbig men.  Or food. :) LOL 
Nobody's perfect, nobody ever will be.  That's so not where I'm going with this thought.  What makes me so happy about having you in my life is maybe best expressed as a list, in no particular order:
Your smile is never phony. Always real.
You are the best wife and best mother Zach, Grace, Bella, and Sophie could ever wish for.
You let little girls be really girly if they want to, or not if they want to.
You actually have a relationship with your parents.  Especially your mom.  They are actually involved in your life, and yet, appraently without toxicity..  You have no idea how this amazes me.  It is awesome.  I've simply never seen such a thing.
You go out of the way to plan ahead for birthday parties, Christmas presents, all sorts of Mommy Things that make life extra special for children.  Even stuck in a hospital bed fighting effing cancer, you're making plans right out loud for something special for someone whose name and occasion shall not be mentioned here so it does not get spoiled.
You have accepted me into your collection of various moms/mothers in law/not the moms, so fully and with such love and trust, that I feel like we've been family for much longer than the 3 years, 7 months we have technically been family (legally).
You like my sweet-potato pie.  (Well who doesn't?)
You live life like I wish we all could -- I certainly make a good stab at it myself! -- filled with love and beauty and fun.  No, it's not always lovely, beautiful, or fun, but you bring those qualities, fierce, to the max, full-on, and it's infectious to all around you.
You love freely and fully.
Aaaaannnnnd, you begin this process of winning out over cancer not with sad poetry, not with weighty introspection inflicted upon those around you, not with downer-ism, but by quoting the Beastie Boys!!! The ever-loving effing BEASTIE BOYS!!!!! Love.
You are made of awesome.
I am so happy to be in a family that includes YOU.
Now, let's go kick cancer's sorry ass to the curb, and dance at Monica's wedding, and then we can both go back to college again after this interruption.
I love you.
And "No Sleep Till Brookyn" -- okay? :) (Beasties)
XOXOXO
Your Wicked Stepmother-in-Law
Diana Wilde
Friday, April 13, 2012 2:21 PM
Amanda,

I am so sorry to heat about your diagnosis and I am wishing you lots of love and strength during your recovery.  All my best to you and your family.

Love,
Lily (Guimond) Wood
Lily Wood
Friday, April 13, 2012 1:46 PM
Amanda -
hugs and warm thoughts going your way.
 
xoxoxox
Mara
MARA SAULITIS
Friday, April 13, 2012 12:39 PM
You are the sweetest, most loving, bubbly, hair in flower loving, genuine, sincere, hot mama I've ever had the pleasure of getting to know!!  Amanda, I am so sorry to hear about this unfortunate situation.  I wish you strength and courage for you and your family.  As much as you are undeserving of such an awful sickness, you will kick this in the butt like a monster fighting ninja! ;)  I miss you, and would LOVE to visit you ASAP. I'll chat with Maria for details.

<3 <3 <3 <3
Anastasia Krinberg
Friday, April 13, 2012 12:27 PM
I was so sorry to hear about you Amanda, my heart goes out to you and your family at this time, you are a strong person and you can fight this and win. Our prayers are with you. Love Colette
Please let your mom and family know if there's anything I can do for any of you Please let me know.
colette meyer
Friday, April 13, 2012 11:09 AM
Sending my thoughts your way, Amanda. 
Sarah McGuire
Friday, April 13, 2012 10:47 AM
Amanda & Family;
My mom had just told me what happened.  My family and I pray for a full recovery.  I hope you beat this and get well enough so we can see you and your girls at the annual Wilson 4th of July!
Sending prayers to you!!
Jennifer Hike (Erie) and Family (Lori's daughter, Julie's niece)
Jen Hike
Friday, April 13, 2012 10:02 AM
So very sorry that you have to go through this nasty business, but know you are a super strong woman and will beat this. Craig,Stacey and the girls, Gordon and Carol all send their love and prayers. Me too!!!  Craig, Annabelle and I are coming to see you on Sunday if you are up for it.  We will check with Zach.
Love ya!!
Kathleen

Kathleen Craig
Friday, April 13, 2012 9:38 AM
My dearest Manda Panda!!  I have so much faith in you and I know you are going to fight this with everything you have in you and you have the best support system of friends and family to fight along side you.  I can't wait to come see you tonight, and give you the biggest hug ever.  I hate that I am going to be gone the first week you are in there, but I will come visit every chance I get when I get back.  Get lots of rest today and I hope those pain meds keep you comfortable as it seems they have been so far. Lots of love, you are nonstop in my thoughts. 
Maria Thomas
Friday, April 13, 2012 9:22 AM
Hey Sweetie,
After seeing you last night and witnessing your positive outlook on this I know you are gonna be just fine. You are one tough cookie!!! I will be thinking of you and if you need "ANYTHING" even just to talk I'm here :)
Love YOU
Cindy
Aka not-the-mom
Cindy Mundahl
Friday, April 13, 2012 9:11 AM
Amanda,

Lex and I were so sorry to hear about your diagnosis. We are sending positive vibes and good thoughts your way. Let us know if you need anything. Stay strong!

Love, 
Carissa and Lex
Carissa Miller
Friday, April 13, 2012 8:37 AM
Matt and I were so surprised to hear about you Amanda. I know that your character and spirit will carry you through this, and you have so many of us that are here to support you. Sending our thoughts, prayers and love to you, Zach, and your beautiful girls...

Matt and Amy (Nelson) Cole
Amy Cole
Thursday, April 12, 2012 11:21 PM
Amanda,
 I'm so sorry.  My mom is also fighting cancer and I know how tough it can be. Use your spunk to kick that cancers butt!! My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.
Jodi (Thompson) Relopez
Jodi Relopez
Thursday, April 12, 2012 10:29 PM
Amanda!!! I don't know what to say. If there is anything we can do to help you out. If you need to drop your kids here or you need me to swing by with dinner sometimes, please let me know. I am so sorry to hear that you have to fight this battle, but I am hopeful that this is a treatable and kick butt-able cancer. Please let me know if you need anything!

(Riley's mom from last year Pre-K)
Molly Schuster
Thursday, April 12, 2012 9:01 PM
Hey Girl! Be the bad ass princess that you are and kick the crap out of that cancer!!!!! I am sending positive energy and lots of love to you, sweet girl.

Stay strong!!!!!

Lisa, Patrick, Nick & Tony
Lisa Thorsell
Thursday, April 12, 2012 8:55 PM
Amanda,

It was so good talking with tonight and hearing your positive attitude! Let us know when your up for visitors and call if you need anything!

Sending big hugs, love and prayers!
Jeff and Suzy
Suzy Deutsch
Thursday, April 12, 2012 8:08 PM
Amanda,
So sorry to hear that you are in the hospital.  We are praying for you and sending much love your way. We would like to visit you. Let us know when you are up to having visitors.
Love you,
Glenn and Cathy
Glenn & Cathy Squillace
Thursday, April 12, 2012 7:52 PM
Hi sweetie,
You have been on our minds since I heard the news. I'm so sorry but I know you can do this! You fight, fight, fight!! I am praying for you everyday and have many others praying as well. Wish we were near but please know we are sending love and hugs!
We love you!
Aunt Micki, Uncle Jerry, Abby and Emma.
Micki Gordon
Thursday, April 12, 2012 7:33 PM
Amanda,
I'm thinking of you and your family and sending love, prayers and hood vibes your way!

Stay strong!
Lorna
Lorna Fox
Thursday, April 12, 2012 7:12 PM
Amanda! I love you! I'm so excited for our sleepover! :) And cannot wait to be home with you! You are so strong and you can get through anything with the love and encouragement of all the many people that call you friend, mom, wife, cousin, sister.... Anything! Personally I call you my bestfriend, sister, my role model. You have always been there for me and i have always looked up to you and you better know that even though I'm stuck in NC I'm always here for you! See you in a week!!!!! Love, Moni Rose
Monica Berbig
Thursday, April 12, 2012 7:12 PM
Amanda,

You have become such an important person in my life! You are one tough lady and have lots of support! I promise to bug you lots and lots over the next few weeks and can't wait to celebrate with you when this cancer has been kicked to the curb! 

Love you!
Krista
Krista Carlson
Thursday, April 12, 2012 7:05 PM
It will be good to see you when I get back in May through June. Hope you get Skype soon so we can start to catch up on what happened in our lives all these years.  Sending you my love til then,
Auntie
Bellezza Squillace
Thursday, April 12, 2012 7:01 PM
Sending lots of love and prayers to you and your family.  I'll be thinking of you...

Love,
Katie
Katie (Wieker) Hughes
Thursday, April 12, 2012 6:34 PM
To my beautiful Cancer Princess and best friend!  I love you lots and lots! There is no one I know more feisty and ready to kick cancer's ass! If I dig deep enough in either of our wardrobes I might even find some of those knee high, steel toe, Doc boots that we used to enjoy wearing so much to help out with the kicking! ;)  In fact, I might buy a few extra pairs to fit your family and friends, I'm sure they'd all enjoy helping kick your cancer's ass too! We've all got your back! :)

Much love always,
Angie

Angie Senger
Thursday, April 12, 2012 6:04 PM
You are one of my dearest friends and I consider you family! You are a very strong gal and will have tons of love and support to get you through this!!!

I love you!!
Becky
Becky Mundahl